Everything's Gonna Be Fine...
Haven't been doing much exciting stuffs recently....same old routine day in day out...
But of course certain things did happen and it suddenly dawned opon me that I might not know myself as much I thought I did.
I realised that I am rather nonchalant to people around me....their changes in mood and expressions...so much so that it even came to a point whereby I do not even realise what I do or what I say can actually make an impact on them. Perhaps what i have been through and experienced in the past made me someone who do not believe that i could play a significant part in someone's life...and vice versa.
I should be faulted for that...and I wun absolve myself from the responsibilty. I guess I just need more time to reassure myself that my mere existence isn't just for the sake of making up the number in the population chart. For the things that happen at the wrong time...with the wrong person...I guess I can only express my regrets and hope things will really turn out the way I hope it will.
But it really ain't my fault for not knowing what is expected of me. No one ever told me so...I would have just summed it up as a good learning experience for me...however the damages are done....making up for it is the onli minimal I can do. At least I will make sure I do a good job on that.
That sums up my life for the past 22yrs i guess. Wasting my time and other's as well all the time. Some peepz think I am wrong...I think so too at this point of time...and I guess it took me too long a time to realise that. However, I am not about to force myself to change overnight. Not that I can anyway. Heh...Loser with a capital L... :)
People around me are not doing much to aid me either. Failure to understand what I have been doing all along....this I choose to forgive and forget...but the least they could do is to stop heaping unneccesary pressure on me. I am fighting a war of sorts. Battles won and lost...just when I thought I won over some critics...some have to be a spoilsport and make life difficult for nothing. So called family. Haa~
I am not about to utilise this blog as a channel for all my whining and complaints but i just deem it necessary for me to pour out my frustrations somewhere...at least I feel much better this way. Part and parcels of life...so my friend viewed it. I agree on that. At least I know things are going to get better....everything's gonna be fine real soon....
But of course certain things did happen and it suddenly dawned opon me that I might not know myself as much I thought I did.
I realised that I am rather nonchalant to people around me....their changes in mood and expressions...so much so that it even came to a point whereby I do not even realise what I do or what I say can actually make an impact on them. Perhaps what i have been through and experienced in the past made me someone who do not believe that i could play a significant part in someone's life...and vice versa.
I should be faulted for that...and I wun absolve myself from the responsibilty. I guess I just need more time to reassure myself that my mere existence isn't just for the sake of making up the number in the population chart. For the things that happen at the wrong time...with the wrong person...I guess I can only express my regrets and hope things will really turn out the way I hope it will.
But it really ain't my fault for not knowing what is expected of me. No one ever told me so...I would have just summed it up as a good learning experience for me...however the damages are done....making up for it is the onli minimal I can do. At least I will make sure I do a good job on that.
That sums up my life for the past 22yrs i guess. Wasting my time and other's as well all the time. Some peepz think I am wrong...I think so too at this point of time...and I guess it took me too long a time to realise that. However, I am not about to force myself to change overnight. Not that I can anyway. Heh...Loser with a capital L... :)
People around me are not doing much to aid me either. Failure to understand what I have been doing all along....this I choose to forgive and forget...but the least they could do is to stop heaping unneccesary pressure on me. I am fighting a war of sorts. Battles won and lost...just when I thought I won over some critics...some have to be a spoilsport and make life difficult for nothing. So called family. Haa~
I am not about to utilise this blog as a channel for all my whining and complaints but i just deem it necessary for me to pour out my frustrations somewhere...at least I feel much better this way. Part and parcels of life...so my friend viewed it. I agree on that. At least I know things are going to get better....everything's gonna be fine real soon....
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